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Update your communication style for better relationships | Your Best Life

In this week's Your Best Life, two relationship coaches explain a new and easy way to update your communication style to better connect with everyone in your life.
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African American Father and little son making video call with digital tablet and waving hands laughing talking with family while cooking in kitchen. Black family have fun while pandemic virus at home

TEMPLE, Texas — Communication is one of the keys to strong relationships. Whether those are romantic relationships, friendship or business partnerships. In this week's Your Best Life, two relationship coaches explain a new and easy way to update your communication style to better connect with everyone in your life.

Conscious communication is a technique Johann Urb and Rachel Pringle Urb use every day in all of their relationships. At its core, it's communicating from the heart. 

"So, conscious communication is a way to create intimacy and closeness through the most challenging of events,” Rachel explained. "We are often, from my perspective communicating from our triggers and our wounds, and it can feel like energetic daggers going back and forth. This is a way to help provide every party that's in this scenario to be able to express authentically what's happening, and to be seen and heard and received."

Johann said taking responsibility for what you're thinking and feeling and then making some simple, subtle changes in the way you speak can be really beneficial. 

"For example, you would say that ‘this is all from my perspective, what I'm about to express is from my perspective and I'm curious what your perspective is. A part of me is feeling really triggered. A part of me feels really upset, is a part of you feeling upset? I'm witnessing a part of me be angry.' Instead of, ‘I'm really angry I'm really upset.’ So it's a very different energy that you are providing and offering for the other person to go 'oh it's not all of you, just a part of you', and therefore you can actually hear it, you can absorb it, you can let it land," Johann said.

Rachel said when you change those phrases it's easier to speak from the heart. 

"Conversations can become heightened and what I truly believe is that conscious communication disarms tension in energy, and it allows people to become present, and to see that we're, we're not trying to create dissonance or disharmony we're actually trying to create deeper connections in every way," Rachel said.

The couple suggests that you write down the phrases so you can use them in your relationships. Also, try to have open conversations with your friends and loved ones about using this communication technique together. 

"I mean we say to clients all the time, have these written down and anytime that there's a moment that you feel becomes heightened, bring them out and practice them, and enlist people in your life, not just your partner, but your family members and your friends to speak like this with you as well," Rachel said.

According to Johann, it also works well at the office. In fact, many of his clients who are CEO's use this to help encourage better communication… and it pays off. 

"All of a sudden, people are coming to them, you know, expressing what's going on, and the company just takes off because now everyone's on the same team. It's really incredible it goes across the board," he said.

The Urb's said the final aspect of conscious communication is gratitude. Thanking the other person for expressing their feelings and being open.
You can find out more about their work on both Rachel and Johann's websites. Rachel Pringle Urb can be found here. Johann Urb can be found here.

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